I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
only if we run a train.
done.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
