Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.

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  (805): My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping. http://tfl.nu/dvm6
  Replies (10) Good night (797) Bad night (948)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.

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  (814): I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave. http://tfl.nu/ropw
  Replies (2) Good night (1523) Bad night (733)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet

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  (319): i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet http://tfl.nu/p6vj
  Replies (12) Good night (645) Bad night (3360)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.

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  (303): Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming. http://tfl.nu/sem8
  Replies (41) Good night (800) Bad night (4491)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.

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  (956): She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy. http://tfl.nu/bi3k
  Replies (11) Good night (1478) Bad night (4103)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.

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  (502): Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit. http://tfl.nu/13ky
  Replies (9) Good night (2450) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.

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  (204): I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks. http://tfl.nu/ehmv
  Replies (6) Good night (2129) Bad night (754)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.

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  (715): Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them. http://tfl.nu/68wg
  Replies (8) Good night (3047) Bad night (1013)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.

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  (443): I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites. http://tfl.nu/mbgc
  Replies (13) Good night (2543) Bad night (1504)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks

  (1403): View more from

  That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills

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  (403): Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks (1403): That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills http://tfl.nu/uobi
  Replies (2) Good night (1351) Bad night (578)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.

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  (412): I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised. http://tfl.nu/nqg7
  Replies (9) Good night (1957) Bad night (995)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches

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  (248): We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches http://tfl.nu/48qq
  Replies (4) Good night (1029) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Send help, water and tortillas.

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  (512): Send help, water and tortillas. http://tfl.nu/ih4z
  Replies (0) Good night (519) Bad night (234)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...

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  (604): I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight... http://tfl.nu/vm1g
  Replies (6) Good night (237) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself

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  (210): literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself http://tfl.nu/l1mf
  Replies (4) Good night (354) Bad night (1324)

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