We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
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i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
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I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory