I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.