eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?