Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
