Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.

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(617): I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront. http://tfl.nu/9odf

Replies (15) Good night (3775) Bad night (736)
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(802): View more from Vermont

and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?

(1-802): View more from Vermont

not the response he usually gets im sure.

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(802): and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college? (1-802): not the response he usually gets im sure. http://tfl.nu/gci3

Replies (17) Good night (1689) Bad night (3688)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.

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(215): There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me. http://tfl.nu/xwbe

Replies (8) Good night (910) Bad night (3578)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things

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(601): having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things http://tfl.nu/w4id

Replies (39) Good night (15631) Bad night (920)
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(208): View more from Idaho

dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here

(1-208): View more from Idaho

what the hell does that mean?

(208): View more from Idaho

nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages

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(208): dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here (1-208): what the hell does that mean? (208): nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages http://tfl.nu/of9o

Replies (26) Good night (2699) Bad night (4071)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.

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(303): Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking. http://tfl.nu/3qfc

Replies (22) Good night (7446) Bad night (1359)
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(773): View more from Illinois

How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?

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(773): How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom? http://tfl.nu/o0zg

Replies (42) Good night (1996) Bad night (5541)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year

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(205): Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year http://tfl.nu/pmyc

Replies (7) Good night (1041) Bad night (1838)
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(347): View more from New York

ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.

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(347): ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down. http://tfl.nu/rocj

Replies (4) Good night (1912) Bad night (1268)
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(+61): View more from Australia

It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.

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(+61): It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls. http://tfl.nu/jcbb

Replies (1) Good night (1181) Bad night (529)
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(567): View more from Ohio

Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.

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(567): Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger. http://tfl.nu/4mv9

Replies (8) Good night (849) Bad night (592)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...

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(919): So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea... http://tfl.nu/bj54

Replies (6) Good night (546) Bad night (1559)
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(312): View more from Illinois

Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.

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(312): Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag. http://tfl.nu/6eu4

Replies (2) Good night (896) Bad night (512)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.

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(608): Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated. http://tfl.nu/bowh

Replies (3) Good night (669) Bad night (326)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.

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(770): I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups. http://tfl.nu/x4cx

Replies (1) Good night (337) Bad night (577)

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