we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
