exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
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the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
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they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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