so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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