I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
