Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
