Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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