just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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