I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
