She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
