So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
