what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
