I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
