did you get engaged???
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
