even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
