she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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