Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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