Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
