Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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