Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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