i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
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my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
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I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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