It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
