wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize