Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
vagina is talking i cant
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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