just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
