Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
