Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
