She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Drake has all the answers
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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