She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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