Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You can't motorboat a personality
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
