Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize