So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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