Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
