You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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