he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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