How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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