Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
