you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
