This girl is more easily done than said...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
