yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
