i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
