i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
