your thong is hanging out like whoa
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
