My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
