no, he came in my armpit
I should be sponsored by Trojan
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
They have beer where we have blood.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize