Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize