i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
