i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
