Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
