I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
