So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
