I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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