Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
