so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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