i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
