So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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